Take Your Kids to the Show

Over the past year, I’ve taken my boys, 10 and 8, to six concerts at five different venues around the city of Boston. We have another one lined up next month. When I talk about this with peers, I get mixed reactions– some people think I’m nuts while others are delighted. The bewilderment, I’ve discovered, typically comes from two camps– either projecting one’s own social anxieties or the belief that concerts are intended for older children. I absolutely maintain that every parent will know what’s best for their own kids– for instance, I also have a daughter who’s five and she’s just not ready to stay up past 9pm with a crowd of people. But for my boys– it’s been an incredible experience. 

In case you’ve been on the proverbial fence about whether or not to purchase those tickets, here’s why I say “go for it!”

1. People are inherently kind– especially music fans. To date, I have yet to have an unpleasant experience with fellow concertgoers with my children in tow. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite. Most people are happy to see kids at shows– they smile, engage them with questions, and ask if they can see the stage clearly, kindly offering to move, if not. Security at a local venue offered my kids front row since it was general admission only and they’re shorter than everyone else, comparatively. We didn’t ask, they just offered. People in line have been friendly and polite, as well venue staff and musicians, themselves.
   

2. Music education means stepping out of the practice room. Music is another language we’re all learning to speak fluently in our home. And when it comes to education, field trips are necessary. These kids are seeing first hand what stage presence, timing, and fan interactions look like. They’re watching lighting and sound technicians work their magic. They’re hearing from artists themselves talk about how a song is inspired, concocted, and sharpened; how they learned to play and on what instruments; how there are multiple opportunities in the world of music– that the stage is not always the end all, be all. I’d eventually like to bring them to a studio to show them the workings of producing, recording, and mixing (things I know nothing about– so maybe I’ll learn something, too!). They’re absorbing all of this, just as a child would at a museum or traveling to a foreign city, where history jumps off the pages and becomes real. 
   

3. They’re learning what is appropriate for their ages. We’ve never attempted to purchase tickets only to find out upon checkout that it’s an 18+ or 21+ show, yet. But not every concert is an all ages event, as venues have to pay more for staffing and insurance to avoid litigation and fines as the result of underage drinking. However, eventually, we might miss out on something. But so far, deciding which shows to take my kids to has been up to my discretion, as a parent. For instance, my 10 year old asked to see Eminem perform, and while he has no tour dates in the immediate future, it’s still one I would say no to, no matter the age requirement or leniency. What he listens to in the car (mostly edited, motivational tunes) is a far cry from the earlier disturbing domestic violence rap from Marshall Mathers. There’s a difference between inappropriate content and mild expletives. In fact, AJR’s recent tour at the Garden in Boston had plenty of cursing and it just wasn’t a deal breaker for us. We’ve had plenty of conversations about language and we typically liken it to alcohol– it’s for adults and in small doses (okay sometimes, large, depending on the day– I’m human). 
   

4. Watching their social development. My oldest son was born to be in a crowd. People watching is one of his favorite past times. But my middle child has always been slightly anxious about it. From the masses at Gillette Stadium to a packed MGM Fenway, he has been extremely nervous. I’ve always given him the opportunity to bow out and stay home, not wanting to make him feel like he has to go just because we have tickets. But he’s gone every time. And just last week, at a Giant Rooks show at Big Night Live, a packed venue with no regular seating, he came out of his shell. He jumped up and down, eyes filled with wonder, as he sang along to the words he’d heard over and over on his car rides to school, all the while having the time of his life. As a high-feeling person, music is helping him become comfortable in his skin and his surroundings. And that kind of response is invaluable.  
   

5. Making memories for a lifetime . Seeing shows is becoming part of our family time capsule. Sometimes we bring friends, sometimes we make friends, but we always leave happy and exhausted. So far, one son met his drumming hero, Sarah Jones and both boys high-fived Fred Rabe of Giant Rooks. They’ve had sticks signed, picks tossed at them, and even managed to unknowingly steal seats from an impromptu AJR balcony performance. With an incredibly rough year behind us, I’m hoping they’ll look back on this time and remember laughing, singing, and dancing more than anything else. 

We might have a bad experience someday. In fact, it’s inevitable. But hopefully, like anything in life, it’s nothing major and maybe we’ll learn something from it. Life isn’t always sunshine and roses and I can’t shield them from everything. But so far, it’s only been all good things. I can’t wait for our next concert and the new memories that await us. Hozier…we’re coming for you.